Becoming Love

"This is my commandment: love one another as I have loved you" John 15:12

May I become an embodiment of this command;
Jesus, open my eyes, for I have become so blind.

I stumbled upon a sermon on love today. It blew me away
...and thats an understatement.
 I've never heard a sermon like this before.

 Ever.

It's revolutionary. 

It's an hour long... but the rare, exquisite jewels of wisdom in this sermon is delightfully worth it.

"We're not here to be loved; we've been loved, by Christ. 
We're here to become love. 
Its too easy to be another hurt and offended human being (this got me); its the easiest thing on the planet. Its called flesh." ~ Dan Mohler

Running from Goodbye

Stuck in reverse.
running from goodbye
...trying to avoid the pain

just causing more hurt.

"Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;

but they who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint." ~ Isaiah 40:30-31

Let Go and Let God

Saturday...

I discovered goats are amazingly comfortable to ride on :) Mr. Maccableats the goat continued to aggressively tear at his lovely grass while I sat on his back.

I wondered if two blocks of ice rubbed together at infinite speed could override the cold to create combustion... talked it through and figured out it was indeed possible. 

Determinedly dug a pit for an hour with my brother and his friends 'just for the fun of it' :)

Had fun with electrical circuits (some of it was caught on video, you can watch it right here)

A little girl and I teamed up against my brother and wrestled him... (of course my wiry 11 yr old brother beats me almost every time)

...then got caught in the most epic pillow fight since the creation of mankind. 

Finally... I discovered that pillow throwing is in fact very therapeutic.
As I hung out with the kids, I found myself laughing like I havent laughed in ages.
I mean... yes, I laugh everyday, but theres a difference between laughter of the surface and laughter of the deep.
The kids brought out from within me,
laughter of the deep.

Kids...
are so free
real
honest
simple
and forgive in a heartbeat.

As I grow into adulthood, I find myself constantly battling the negative that comes with the challenges of life...
It becomes easier to hold a grudge,
easier to take offense,
easier to be worried.

and then I catch myself...
and have to consciously instruct my heart
to let it go
just let go.
reach out,
build bridges,
extend peace.
forgive.
let joy flow over me as it once did.

for since YHWH is our Father
and we are His beloved,
we can truly
let go and let God. 

Abide

It's not about how great your faith is; its about trusting in God's great faithfulness - Hudson Taylor

"Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever abides in me, and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers." ~ John 15:4-6

His words ring loud and clear.

Jesus stands in a hot and dusty street, a crowd surrounding him as far as the eye can see;
and he declares to everyone listening,
the key to life abundant.

Abide in me, and let me abide in you, for apart from me you shall wither.

It is clear.
and yet... I so often fall into deep slumber.
aware, yet content in my comfort to continue slumbering;
Awaken! Awaken yourself for your beloved stands near...
oh how hard can my heart possibly be?
awaken, for he will not share his heart with strangers or standby's.
awake, for life begins
in the presence of Jesus.
Let not the distractions of the world lull you...
lull you away
from love incorrupt.

Abide

Life Abundant

"You don't have to discover you're dying

to start living"  

~ Zach Sobiech

Zach died this Monday; age 18. 

In the short span of his life, he left a lasting legacy. 

he re-infused into many hearts a passion,

to live life,

and to live it to the fullest. 

"I have come to give you life, and life abundant" 

~ Jesus of Nazareth 

Fear

God works in seasons, I'm beginning to discover.

Seasons...

There are seasons of joy, seasons of pain, seasons of success, seasons of failure, seasons of storm, seasons of calm.

God remains faithful through it all.

Even when life doesn't look, smell, or taste like what we thought it would... when life brings fears and conflicts in the blink of an eye...

this promise still remains

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him" 1st Corinthians 2:9

... we are simply to remain faithful.

Even then

"If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny himself" 2nd Timothy 2:13

As disciples of Jesus, however, we are called to be faithful and simply do what God has placed in front of us to do.

What has God called me to right now?

Right now?

The biggest question bouncing around in my heart right now concerns the MCATS.

Should I take them this year, or not?

Honestly, I'm terrified of them. I don't have one direction over another from God...

... and so I have set a fleece before Him.

the internship.

Most of me feels... oh, I have no idea.

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and self-control." 1st Timothy 1:7

Fear is a powerful crippler of the mind, and I confess I haven't been very good at conquering it lately.

Fear...

I remember the times I've walked straight through the fires of fear before, and God led me through with His strong arms, entirely unharmed.

once again, it is the battle of the mind.

and once again, I look, turn, cast myself upon Him...

ask Him to give me victory,

and realize...

He's already bought the victory.

It is mine to take

to stand

to fight for the truth

that the power of God conquers all fear.

Whether I do the MCATS this year or not,

Let it not be fear that holds me back.

A short and powerful video that inspired me this evening, after I wrote this blogpost on fear is linked right here:  ~ Live Before You Die